Archive for Activities for Kids
Here’s an idea to add to your literacy activities for kids: Have you ever wanted to know how many books you or your kids have read in a month or a year? Did you ever get stuck trying to think of the exact title of a book, or the author?
Since nowadays the titles and author names of books you check out of the library are printed on the return slip (at least in the public libraries around me), just keep that slip!
My memory is fallible, so for a few years now, I’ve kept a “Books I Read” list in the “My Treasures” section of my Way to Go! Family Learning Journal three-ring-binder. I never put much energy or time into this; I record date, author, and title.
Sometime I put a note if there were something significant I wanted to remember (like a quote from the book); sometimes I put a 1—10 rating on how good I thought the book was.
And believe it or not, I’ve referred to this list, especially when I wanted to recommend a book and couldn’t remember the author. I wish I had three kinds of lists from the days when I raised my daughter—books we read together, books I read on my own, and books she read.
She’s a mom now and we talk about these things occasionally—“Do you remember if we read The Celestine Prophecy aloud as we drove across country when you were in high school—I think we didn’t love it, right?” and “Did we ever finish Tess of the D’Urbervilles? Or did we both cry so hard we decided to complete it separately?”
Thanks to computers, now there’s a simple way to create such lists: just hang on to the library checkout tape. The trick is to put this slip where you and your kids can find it again (like in a binder). Keep adding to it over the months and years. (Of course, you may still also want to keep a written list of books purchased, or borrowed, since you don’t have a library receipt for them. Also, if you have comic book and magazine readers in your family, why not add those titles on the lists, too.)
Another idea is to have your kids paste or tape the computerized lists on three-hole-punched paper so there’s room for comments. It’s easy to add a 1-10 rating right on library printout: Try using a scale that’s 10 for All-Time-Favorites-to-Read-and-Reread and 1 for Couldn’t-Get-into-It, and the range in-between.
It’s a challenging, thoughtful exercise to rate a book; a child who does that frequently over time can develop a sophisticated awareness of his or her own interests, values, tastes, and growth. And it’s certainly a way to Plus It with an individual or shared reading experience.
Like watching the growing balance in a savings account that gets regular deposits, it’s satisfying to see a “Books I Read” list get longer and longer. And I’d say its value far exceeds anything in a bank, for it represents lasting, often thrilling, deposits to the mind and imagination.
If you want a quick reminder about down-time activities for kids that can pick up the energy and create good feeling, check out the suggestions on Andrea Patten’s “What Kids Need to Succeed” blog.
It’s an activity I created for the Way to Go! Family Learning Journal series—something simple and definitely not new, but something you might have forgotten about.
Basically, it’s a vocabulary enrichment, search-your-brain, activity: think of synonyms for common words and use them with your kids, encouraging them to do the same.
Simple. Easy. Undemanding. Straightforward. Trouble-free. Effortless. Uncomplicated. (I had help: I used my Word thesaurus to come up with those synonyms as I wrote this. But aren’t they enriching words!)
Try it. Have fun!
November 1 is Family Literacy Day. Cheers! What fun family activities for kids are you planning for that day?
It’s the Sunday after Halloween. Hmm… Are there ways to combine family literacy with Halloween?
Remember: Literacy is about more than simply decoding words, although decoding is the basic skill. Literacy is about understanding. Family literacy is all the activities in the home that provide kids with the foundational experiences upon which comprehending the written word is based.
So to my way of thinking, anything you do with kids that expands their understanding and knowledge of the world and how it works and of human experience, is a family literacy activity. Of course, reading is a rich avenue for expanding understanding, but it’s not the only one.
Here are four ideas for celebrating Family Literacy Day (and Halloween):
1) Have a Post-Halloween read-aloud picnic or party: Invite friends of all ages to pack favorite kid foods (and a LITTLE Trick-or-Treat candy) and bring a favorite short book, poem, or personal writing. Then everyone gets to stand up and read their choice, while others are munching.
2) Put a gently-used children’s book in someone’s Trick or Treat bag: Go through your bookshelves and see if there are any you want to give away. When you see the right-age child at your door, slip the book into his or her bag along with a treat.
3) On Nov 1, take a trip to a museum, historical spot, or place of interest—perhaps one that you’ve been putting off. Notice any Halloween decorations they may have put up. Expand your children’s background of knowledge about that place and what it represents. Read aloud together any brochures you find about that place or exhibit.
4) Do a neighborhood or town Halloween Decorations tour, either walking or driving: Talk about why ghosts and goblins are associated with Oct. 31? Why spiders? Are there old medieval stories to discover? Why are pumpkins such a big deal? Do a little research on the internet or in books—that’s certainly a family literacy activity.
Perhaps you have other suggestions for Family Literacy Day? Feel free to add them in the comments section here.
Are family reunions good activities for kids? Based on my experience, I say, Yes! Go for it!
Last weekend I took two children, ages 5 and 7, to a large family reunion. By myself. Meaning their parents weren’t along because of a schedule conflict. It was just grandma—me—in charge.
Why did I take them? Because I think there are subtle, powerful benefits when kids know about their roots, their heritage. They learn that they are part of a long, unique, amazing story. They experience the host of people to whom they have birthright connections. They get family information that becomes part of their conscious identity, their personal narrative. They have a history-platform to stand on in the world.
So, the weekend event was a reunion of descendants of their great-great-great-grandparents, six generations ago. Wow! (That would be my great-grandparents.)
About 80 cousins—first, second, third, and fourth—and aunts and uncles and spouses were there, only a fraction of the number of possible relatives on that side of the family, according to a book that lists them all. The oldest attendee was 91: beautiful, blond great-great Aunt Anne.
We traveled to this family reunion via a five-hour car ride to beautiful Paso Robles, CA. I’d checked out 20+ children’s books from the library and stocked up on drawing paper and markers. (No digital games for this trip: we were going back to the past.) The kids rode in car seats in the back; Cousin Yvonne was driver; I supervised from the passenger side.
Trip highlights began early, when we exited Los Angeles over the famous I-5 Grapevine pass into the San Joaquin valley. There’s lots of history just in that section of the drive. Cousin Yvonne talked about wagon trains going over the pass, and the zigzag of the old routes, long before modern highways.
Then we sped past miles and miles of flat agricultural land on a road lined with huge electrical pylons.
Finally we made the Paso Robles hotel: Rose and Calvin loved our room. For just a bit I allowed jumping on the fluffy queen-sized hotel bed—not long enough to damage the mattress, but enough to satisfy the need of a 5-year-old boy to expend a little energy and feel ‘whee!’
Then over the next two days, there were family presentations in a large conference room. I was blown away/ delighted/ relieved/ and grateful by how cooperative the kids were. For hours, Calvin quietly drew pictures and drove his miniature big-wheel along the carpet.
Rose, already a voracious reader, tuned out the presenters’ voices and read Junie B. Jones books. The promise of time in the hotel pool made the meetings bearable.
Then there was the adventure of driving into the country to see the house and farm their great-great grandfather built. It’s now transformed into an expensive B & B, surrounded by vineyards. But it’s where a devout Mennonite family with ten children lived and worked through about six decades of the 20th century.
And there was a stop at the tiny graveyard where ancestors are buried and engravings are in German. What caught Rose and Calvin’s attention most was a tiny grave with a stone that indicated the baby buried there had lived only one day. “Oh, that’s so sad,” they said repeatedly to one another and to me.
Next was a drive on a dirt road, deep into the ravines of the county, past bone-dry hillocks and dense oak groves, to an old ranch house still occupied by Cousin Gene. The kids were amazed at the deer skulls on the fence, and the mounted heads of a cougar, a big-horned sheet, a coyote—wild native animals shot long ago.
Finally, they had the very best part of the whole trip: about an hour on a round tire-swing on a swivel joint in the park where we had a barbeque. Rose and Calvin laughed wildly and sweated profusely as they spun each other around. “I want a swing like that for my birthday,” Rose declared.
The memories these kids will talk about most, I expect, are the hotel bed and pool, the tire-swing in the park, the tiny baby’s grave, and the mounted animal heads.
But somewhere deep in their memories will also be the knowledge that they had a great-great-great-grandpa and grandma, and that they know where to find them.
That’s what I really was after for them.
I’m cheering wildly! The family fun and educational activities for kids in Plus It! have received a big boost. How?
Last week, an enthusiastic review of Plus It! and its parenting tips showed up on a website I enjoy, admire, and respect, one that covers “what really matters” (isn’t that a grand tagline): http://vickyandjen.com. Here’s the link to that dazzlingly clear summary of the value of Plus It!
It’s free to subscribe to the vickyandjen blog that provides parent support for raising children. And they have a strong podcast series on getting organized, on things kids can ask-a-chef, and on how to effectively relate to your pediatrician. They’re promoters of cooking with children and provide wondrous recipes, and they offer a huge list of things to do with kids.
Thanks, Vicky and Jen!
Gosh, Rose, age seven, loves to read! And best of all, she’s into imaginative play based on stories and books, and I know that develops reading comprehension.
Yesterday I spent part of the day with her and Calvin, who’s almost five. Rose led me into her room to show me something she’d set up in a corner.
There she pointed to a large colorful pillow wedged between the dresser and the wall. Two dolls were propped up on it, and in front of them was the footstool from the bathroom, serving as a table. On the table were cups and saucers, a teapot, a few plastic vegetables.
“You know why I’m doing this, Grandma?”
Rose rushed to get a book. “Grandma, did you read this book to Mommy when she was little? I think it was hers.”
She held ancient, browned, mildewed hardcover copy of A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. I honestly didn’t remember whether I’d read it to her mother or not. I told her I wasn’t sure.
“Well, in this book, the girl thinks that dolls come alive when people aren’t looking, but when people see them, they freeze. So I’m trying to find out,” she said. She clearly was skeptical that her dolls were alive, but at the same time, she wanted it to be true.
“When I look at them, they just sit there,” Calvin interjects. He’s shares the room with Rose, so he has lots of opportunities to test the dolls-are-alive theory. He’s quite sure they’re not.
“Well, I think it’s something worth checking out,” I say, noncommittally. We three glance at each other…we each know dolls aren’t alive, but it’s sure fun to play.
Don’t you love seeing kids involved in imaginative play based on a book? It’s one of the reading strategies that actually develops background knowledge, and that’s crucial to reading comprehension.
After I left the room, I thought of questions I could have asked that might have “PLUSed” or enhanced the experience for her: “I bet you’d like to play with Sara (the Little Princess) for a couple days. What do you think you’d do together?” or “It would be fun to live back then. But I think I’d missing having a car to drive. Is there anything you think you’d miss?”
Next time I see that kind of play, I’ll try to seize the moment more effectively. But still I know it was a rich, inspiring experience for her to create that tea table and scene.
The truth is that in order to play that way, a child has to read a book, or listen to it, paying close attention to the details and description. Then the child has to be resourceful to figure out how to replicate an experience from the story. For instance, Rose had to figure out what she could use from her room and toy box to create a doll’s tea party.
Then think of all the historical detail and context that a child has to take in and process in order to do play like she or he is in another period or country.
And in many ways, when children are playing out a story they are re-writing it; they are getting experience with creating character and even story structure. That sort of play develops empathy and understanding. And it’s certainly theater.
Unfortunately, I know there are children who don’t know how to engage in imaginative play based on books (or movies/TV). It’s tragic that they miss out of some of the sweetest experiences of childhood.
So let’s thank our lucky stars when we see kids really playing imaginatively. Let’s grant them time and space and encourage them in any way we can. For such activity develops brains and hearts, and it contributes hugely to school and life success.
Even before kids start learning to read or write, one of the useful literacy activities you can do is to let them see you making lists: to do lists, appointment/schedule lists, grocery lists, names of people to invite lists…all kinds of lists.
Then it’s especially fun to see what kind of lists they make once they learn to write and read on their own!
Rose is excited about her upcoming November birthday, even though it’s only September. She is seven still, just beginning second grade, and she LOVES reading and writing.
Yesterday she handed me her wish list for her birthday. She wasn’t pushy or demanding or coy in doing this; she just wanted me to know what she was thinking she’d like to have and do. I like that kind of straightforward communication.
Here’s a picture of her list:
In case the writing in the photo is too small for you to see, I’ve typed out what it says, keeping her spelling and capitalization. I didn’t say anything about her errors when she presented it to me because “inventive” spelling at this age is normal and fine, the experts say. She’ll learn conventional spelling at school over the next few grades (and beyond!). Here’s her list:
trafic jam game
littleest petshop clubhouse house
Amarican girl eneything
Books/boxcar children seris
Juni B. Jones seris
So why is making lists a great thing to do for literacy and to develop writing skills?
There are many reasons: It shows kids how useful writing things down is (it helps you remember). It teaches organization and thinking skills like categorizing or grouping. It teaches kids a way to get things out of their heads so they can use their brain space for other things. It’s a way to communicate easily with others (“Babysitter, my list of important telephone numbers of posted on the refrigerator.” It’s a way to have an idea now and then go back to it later.
In Plus It! How to Easily Turn Everyday Activities into Learning Adventures for Kids there’s a suggestion (p. 68) making a list of household tasks or chores with your kids as a strategy that helps turn housework drudgery into something resembling fun.
And there are lots of other reasons to make lists, too. Please feel free to comment below about your personal experience with lists or with helping kids make them.
I think it’s one of those family activities that definitely contributes to both family fun and family literacy. And it’s so simple to do.
Yep, most kids can have the experience of “traveling” to far away places right in their hometowns.
Here’s how I discovered that, serendipitously, this week:
Rose, 7, and Calvin, 4, are spending an overnight with me. After breakfast, they wonder aloud what we are going to do for the day, and I do, too.
“Well, we can certainly go to the park,” I say. That pleases them. We clean up the dishes, read a few books aloud, Rose works on creating a collage—our pace is leisurely for the day is already hot. Then we climb into the car for the park several miles away.
But lo and behold, at the park entrance, bright plastic orange cones bar the driveway…apparently it is closed to visitors today.
Hmm. Now what? We head back home.
We turn on Phillips Street and see an unusual house—a large bungalow that has been turned into a Buddhist temple of sorts. And there’s a parking space in the shade right in front of it. Perfect for a brief stop that’ll kill some time, I think.
The kids stand on the ledge to look over the fence. I become teacherly: “That’s a Buddha statue right there in front, and notice the two kneeling female statues beside it. They are probably his disciples…”
Unexpectedly, the front door behind the Buddha opens. Oh.
A radiant young nun, head shaven, dressed in a gray cotton tunic and pants, walks toward us, holding aloft a small bowl with three golden Asian pears in it. She comes to the fence and offers them to us. Her smile is broad, her teeth perfect; her English, limited but understandable.
Rose and Calvin, mouths open in surprise, each take a piece of fruit and say thank you; I indicate I’ll share theirs. The nun burbles about Buddha; we ask her name and she simply says, Nun.
Then she invites us inside the compound. I snatch my camera from the car and we go down the driveway to the left of the house. It opens into a huge back yard, ringed with fruit and shade trees and several building. There is a stage with elaborate fabric backdrop, a covered eating area with tables, and scattered about, many more statues of Buddha and his disciples. Though the day is almost unbearably hot, here it is cool and serene. Our nun disappears for an instant, and returns with a small conical hat on her head.
We ask for permission to take photos, and as we walk around from one cluster of statues to another, we pose and she eagerly participates in picture-taking. Repeatedly she tells us that there are services on Sunday morning at 10:00, and that children come.
Then she guides us to the best display on the far side of the building: a huge artificial molded mountain with cracks and crevices and waterfalls. She flips a switch and water flows down the mountain and into the streams. You must look closely here, for on the tiny ledges and ridges, there are ceramic, wood, and plastic knick-knacks—a tiger, a farmer with hat, a bridge with someone about to cross it, small intricate pagodas, birds, a water buffalo, small cross-legged buddhas—the longer you look, the more you see.
In the moat at the foot of the mountain, koi, goldfish, and transparent minnows swim lazily. The nun finds the fish food container and hands each child a capfull to toss into the pond.
Rose and Calvin are charmed; I am, too. What fun someone had making this!
Finally our nun friend guides us into the carpeted meditation room or sanctuary. We take off our shoes before we enter. In the front of the room are three large gold Buddhas. The nun explains they are from Thailand, Vietnam, and Myanmar. On the left wall, there are several hundred small, framed portrait photos. Those are pictures of community members who have died, she explains.
Then she turns. A short middle-aged man dressed in a saffron robe steps into the sanctuary. There’s something about him that conveys he isn’t pleased to see us, though his words are welcoming. “This is my master,” says our nun, arm extended to greet him. And in a second, she disappears through a door that I had not noticed.
That was the last we saw of our nun. The gentleman spoke with is briefly. He gave Calvin a plastic bottle of water, with a curt “Say, Thank you” before Calvin even had a chance to come up with that on his own. We exited the room, put on our shoes, took a last look at the mountain and fish moat, and then left the premises.
On the way out, passing a window that I thought might lead to the room where the nun might have been, I called out, Thank you! Who knows whether she heard me. But I wanted her to know what a lovely contribution she’d made to our day and to our knowledge of other religions and cultures.
Doesn’t just about every town in America these days have some immigrant or refugee community, for example, from Asia—Vietnam, China, India, Cambodia, Pakistan; or from Central and South America—Mexico, El Salvador, Guatemala, Columbia; or from Africa—Sudan, Ethiopia, Somalia? And don’t those immigrant communities often have small shops that sell goods from far away places, and small centers of worship.
What great opportunities these immigrant communities provide us as parents and grandparents to PLUS IT! with our kids, to use ordinary summer days to extend their knowledge (and our knowledge) of other cultures. Such an easy way to experience adventure and travel.
Do let me know if you’ve made such an excursion with kids.
Reading aloud to children is one of the very best things a parent or care-giver can do to prepare them for success in school. Sometimes people read aloud in a mechanical just-keep-turning-the-pages way. But you can also really PLUS a reading experience by using a technique called Think Aloud. I’ll bet both you and the children will have more fun when you use it.
What Think Aloud means is that you just stop briefly while you’re reading to tell your thoughts and feelings about what you read, or to ask about the child’s reactions. It might be as simple as saying, “Wow, I didn’t know that!” or “Eek, I wonder what they’ll use to put out the fire. What do you think…” before you turn the storybook page.
I was reading a classic book, Firemouse (written and magnificently illustrated by Nina Barbaresi) to my four-year-old grandson yesterday. We were into our third reading, at least, when I stopped and made a few “think aloud” comments. He joined right in, pointing out details I’d missed, because I was paying attention to the words and he was eating up the illustrations. What bonding that creates with a kid. And we laughed out loud at Suspender’s comment, “Little fur-wads!” even the third time through.
Please read more about how to Think Aloud when you’re reading aloud at this link.
The website What Kids Need to Succeed is going to regularly carry brief articles about how you can help children become better readers and learners. They’re all great, easy-to-do activities. (I know that because I wrote them and have given permission to What Kids Need to Succeed to use them.)
Good teachers use the Think Aloud technique often. So you can help prepare your children for school success by getting them comfortable with talking and thinking about stories and books.
I was with a 7-year-old girl and a 4-year-old boy in a kitchen yesterday evening. We couldn’t think of what to make for supper so we resorted to a variation of brecker—breakfast for supper.
Here’s how they participated, with GREAT enthusiasm:
Cleared off the table of paper scraps from a project in process—7 yr old
Set the table (plates, silverware, napkins, glasses)—both
Beat the eggs for scrambled eggs—4 yr old
Peeled carrots (alternating use of the peeler, with instruction for safe use). These actually were eaten raw before we sat down—both
Put serving dishes on the table—both
Salted and peppered the sliced tomatoes—4-year-old
Cleared plates and silverware to the counter after eating—both
Washed dishes and silverware in the sink, standing on a stool from bathroom—7 yr old, with apron
Rinsed dishes on the other side of sink—4 yr old
Got dessert (sorbet) out of freezer. We sat outside on the house step to eat it.
Kids need to learn so much about using the kitchen, and it doesn’t come naturally. Believe it or not, I recently taught a 69-year-old woman (who’d grown up with servants in a foreign country) how to safely wash a knife. She never knew that if you double over and slide the sponge or dishrag down the dull side you won’t get cut.
Don’t you think we should start teaching kids—both boys and girls—kitchen procedures as early as it is safe? I find kids get great satisfaction from having such responsibility and experience, provided it’s supervised by a caring adult.
I just learned of a new-to-me idea. It’s especially great for people living in small spaces, people on a budget, people who like variety, and people who have kids that grow up fast: it’s a toy library!
An Austin, TX mother writes about it in her first blog entry. Check out http://austinfrugalmom.wordpress.com for details. (This blogger-mother is the daughter of an old friend whom I haven’t seen in about 38 years! We just reconnected via Facebook.)
For a Toy Library to work, there need to be a central location—perhaps a food coop or community center or day care facility or church would be appropriate. In the Austin case, according to austinfrugalmom, it’s called “Family Place Library.” For a small annual donation, parents/members check out toys for two weeks at a time. I’ll bet there’s even provision for longer-term renewals, if some child becomes especially attached to a particular plaything. And I’ll bet people are expected to return the toys clean and refreshed/repaired if necessary.
It seems to me one of the best things about this is that when kids tire of toys, one simply returns them for someone else to enjoy, which leaves space for new things to come in.
Brilliant. Practical. Green. Fun. Certainly worth a try in other communities.
Wow. I’m reading a book about dreams and imagination and loving what I’m learning*.
There are spectacular opportunities for parents to support the intellectual and emotional growth of kids when they encourage expressions of imagination!
Why haven’t I read or studied about this in depth before? It feels like I’ve missed a whole world of possibilities, or I’m a Jill-come-lately.
Why is imagination important? Because it (and the unconscious) is a never-ceasing fountain of creativity, solutions, information, and much, much more.
It’s where great ideas, inventions, and actions start. Certainly it can help children learn to read and comprehend better when someone at home is interested in and talks about the imagination.
Here are ideas of ways parents can give kids an advantage in feeling comfortable using the imagination. There are many more, of course. And every one of these activities can be expanded in myriad ways, if we use our imaginations(!).
1) Talk about dreams that show up during night sleep. You can simply ask children, “Do you remember any dreams you had last night?” Then allow them to tell what they remember, if anything.
When you ask this fairly often, you may start getting interesting replies. There’s no need to do anything with the dreams; just listening may be enough to communicate that dreams can have value and information.
2) Explain about visual symbols—how a picture has a message—from the most basic, like a red hand in pedestrian signal box at a traffic light means don’t walk, to the circle with a line through over a picture of a dog which means dogs not allowed here, to more subtle symbols.
You can ask, “What do you think that picture on that box or ad is saying?” A child’s answer might be very different from yours; let that be okay; you can both share ideas.
3) Comment on things in your child’s artwork. “The boy in the picture you drew looks like he’s jumping up high. I wonder what he’s feeling.” Or, “That butterfly has so many colors, I expect it is happy.” Children may tell you something entirely different from what you thought.
4) Talk about what nursery rhymes or poems or stories might mean. Is “Humpty Dumpty” about things that happen that can’t be changed, so we just feel sad and then accept them? Is “Cinderella” about how things can feel unfair, but then in time they can change? What about fairy tales? Harry Potter stories? What do they show us?
Do you have other suggestions for parents of ways to encourage imagination? Please put them in the comments section, so we can get a
*The book I’m reading is Robert A. Johnson’s, Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth, Harper & Row, 1986.
Well, that may be a bit of exaggeration. However, Plus It! received wonderful publicity this week.
The book is featured in the LA Parent magazine’s Education Directory for July 2009. The editors reprinted much of the first chapter in a two-page spread, and put a small picture of the book in the corner. I’m thrilled!
In addition, this week my publisher, David Hancock of Morgan James Publishing, pointed out that Plus It! is a bestseller in the grandparenting category on Amazon!
What that means is that the book is in the top 100 books in that category. On Tuesday, when David told me that, Plus It! was #81. Last night I checked, and it was #24.
My revised goal is to sell 5000 books by Sept. 13, 2009. LA Parent may help us meet that target.
This week, I read a true parenting classic for the first time. I’m almost embarrassed about that, but it came on the scene halfway through my child-rearing years, and I guess I thought I didn’t need it any more. Or maybe I was just dimly aware of it—there was so much else I was busy with during those years. But I see now how much it could have aided me both in my classroom teaching and as a mother.
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish changed the world for many families. It’s THE how-to book for more effective, happier adult-child communications.
It is down-to-earth, filled with realistic examples and cartoons that parents easily get. There’s recognition of the complexity and confusion of parent-child exchanges. The authors know how hard it is for us to change our patterns. The ideas are presented step-by-step, with reinforcement and review. Objections and questions are answered.
There’s great encouragement to parents to be gentle with themselves as they may falter, forget, lose it, and then try again to use more effective ways to speaking to kids.
The chapter on praise particularly helped me. I believe it’s highly supportive for kids and adults to look for and comment on the positive, and I’ve often gotten stuck in making evaluative statements like “That’s great!” “Awesome!” “Wow!” “Amazing!” A more useful strategy, Faber and Mazlish teach, is to be descriptive and to share what you feel: “I see that you’ve used seven colors in that picture and it makes me feel cheerful when I look at it”—is more gratifying to the child artist than “Great job!”
Additionally, when you go to praise a child, they suggest you use one word or phrase that sums up their achievement, like, “You used a string to tie up that box when you couldn’t find the tape. That’s what I call resourceful!”
Several million copies of this book have sold since 1980. I wish even more were in circulation.
Why can’t schools be more proactive in providing this kind of information to parents?
Wouldn’t it be great if elementary schools would lend a copy of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen…to every family on Back-to-School night? (It’s available in Spanish now, too, according to the website <http://fabermazlish.com>). And along with that, of course, wouldn’t it be grand if they would also distribute copies of Plus It! How to Easily Turn Everyday Activities into Learning Adventures for Kids.
Hmm. That combo would almost certainly raise academic achievement scores over time!
A four-year-old boy and a grandmother can play some mighty fine softball, I can testify. (I’m the GM.)
Yesterday I had several hours with Calvin (not his real name) on my own. We started off reading a couple books together; then he leapt off the couch and jumped around on the tile of the living room floor, gazing at me. It was clear some physical activity would be appreciated. “Let’s go out to the back yard,” I say.
There’s a narrow cement strip between the garage and the lemon trees. That will have to do as our diamond. Calvin picks up the blue plastic bat lying nearby and gently kicks a small blue ball toward me. I’m to pitch for the first round; he’ll bat.
To watch him as batter is a treat. He does a brief leg-crossing kick-jump routine first as he get the bat up to his shoulder. Then he takes one hand and brushes his ears and shakes his head, as if there were gnats about. (There aren’t. I think he has an allergy and there’s itching inside his ears.) Then he curls his tongue in that little U shape that it seems only people with certain genes can do.
“You ready?” I ask.
“Yep.” He leans forward.
I pitch. He hits the ball. I pitch again. He hits again. Ten out of ten. I’m impressed.
“Okay, now it’s my turn to bat,” I say. (Fair’s fair, and besides, he needs to learn to pitch, too.)
I take up the plastic bat. From previous experience, I know it has a split in it somewhere, and it makes a great crack! sound—like it’s surely a home-run—when you connect with full force, though the ball travels hardly 10 yards. I want to make that kind of connection.
Calvin pitches. I swing and miss. He pitches. I foul the ball. He pitches again. I miss. Hmm. I used to be a pretty good softball player. Well, next time, I’ll surely connect and get that impressive crack! I say to myself. He pitches. I miss. How did that happen?
“Grandma,” he advises with authority, “you got to keep your eyes on the ball.”