Kids in the Kitchen
By · CommentsI was with a 7-year-old girl and a 4-year-old boy in a kitchen yesterday evening. We couldn’t think of what to make for supper so we resorted to a variation of brecker—breakfast for supper.
Here’s how they participated, with GREAT enthusiasm:
Cleared off the table of paper scraps from a project in process—7 yr old
Set the table (plates, silverware, napkins, glasses)—both
Beat the eggs for scrambled eggs—4 yr old
Peeled carrots (alternating use of the peeler, with instruction for safe use). These actually were eaten raw before we sat down—both
Put serving dishes on the table—both
Salted and peppered the sliced tomatoes—4-year-old
Cleared plates and silverware to the counter after eating—both
Washed dishes and silverware in the sink, standing on a stool from bathroom—7 yr old, with apron
Rinsed dishes on the other side of sink—4 yr old
Got dessert (sorbet) out of freezer. We sat outside on the house step to eat it.
Kids need to learn so much about using the kitchen, and it doesn’t come naturally. Believe it or not, I recently taught a 69-year-old woman (who’d grown up with servants in a foreign country) how to safely wash a knife. She never knew that if you double over and slide the sponge or dishrag down the dull side you won’t get cut.
Don’t you think we should start teaching kids—both boys and girls—kitchen procedures as early as it is safe? I find kids get great satisfaction from having such responsibility and experience, provided it’s supervised by a caring adult.
Idea: A Toy Library
By · CommentsI just learned of a new-to-me idea. It’s especially great for people living in small spaces, people on a budget, people who like variety, and people who have kids that grow up fast: it’s a toy library!
An Austin, TX mother writes about it in her first blog entry. Check out http://austinfrugalmom.wordpress.com for details. (This blogger-mother is the daughter of an old friend whom I haven’t seen in about 38 years! We just reconnected via Facebook.)
For a Toy Library to work, there need to be a central location—perhaps a food coop or community center or day care facility or church would be appropriate. In the Austin case, according to austinfrugalmom, it’s called “Family Place Library.” For a small annual donation, parents/members check out toys for two weeks at a time. I’ll bet there’s even provision for longer-term renewals, if some child becomes especially attached to a particular plaything. And I’ll bet people are expected to return the toys clean and refreshed/repaired if necessary.
It seems to me one of the best things about this is that when kids tire of toys, one simply returns them for someone else to enjoy, which leaves space for new things to come in.
Brilliant. Practical. Green. Fun. Certainly worth a try in other communities.
The Value of Godparents
By · CommentsDo you have a godparent? Are you a godparent? What does the term mean to you?
Godparenting is something I associate with the Catholic Church, and because I grew up as a Protestant, I didn’t know anything about the role.
But Robert A. Johnson, a famous Jungian analyst whose memoir, Balancing Heaven and Earth, I am reading, just awakened me to what godparenting can be. And it’s quite wonderful!
He calls godparenting a profound art. “A godparent is designated as the teacher of the inner world for a young person while his or her natural parents are the caretakers of the physical and practical aspects of life.”
A godparent is a mentor and guide for a child, one who appreciates the child’s inner worlds, emotional and spiritual. Johnson said he had three godparents in his youth, and they virtually saved his life, as his childhood was very difficult.
So what might be characteristics of sensitive godparents? Surely they would be patient, very patient, and kind to a child. They would listen deeply, encouraging the child to reveal thoughts, explorations, ideas, and feelings. Godparents would hear longings, and find ways to address them, if only by naming and acknowledging them. Godparents might teach skills or the appreciation of music, the arts, history, and more. Godparents would notice the natural abilities and interests of a child and encourage them. Godparents might teach children how to untangle fear and anger, and use those emotional experiences as information and stepping-stones to freedom and acceptance.
I imagine good godparents might store up stories about a child, noticing growth and changes, and reflect these to the child occasionally. A good godparent might provide a place of refuge in the storms of adolescence. And a good godparent might follow a child well into adult life, always providing the sense: You are special to me. You are on-course, you are learning what you need to learn, you are safe.
Gee, I’d like a godparent even now!
Yes, this is a role our culture could well revive. Contemporary children and families would be greatly supported by having true godparents around. I wonder whether there are godparenting classes available anywhere. Hmm.
Book-Signing: Let Go of Expectations
By · CommentsTwo months ago, when Plus It! had just been released, I met with the customer relations manager at the local Barnes and Noble bookstore.
Does your store like to support local authors? I asked.
Yes! And Naomi, the CR manager, was enthusiastic when I showed her a copy of my book and when she found out the B&N distributor carried it. Especially she liked that the price was under $10.
She suggested we do a book-signing on a Saturday in July when lots of parents were likely to be in the store. I was delighted. I told my Facebook friends about it.
Then Naomi and I had a flurry of emails to confirm details: the store would list my book-signing in their monthly printed calendar that goes out to customers, and they’d put posters with a picture of my book cover around the store. I sent her a .jpg of the cover. She encouraged me to invite my local friends.
For six weeks after that I didn’t hear from her, which was fine. But last week I emailed her again to confirm. No response.
Yesterday I thought a personal visit to the store would be smart—just to check on arrangements. I took my camera, intending to take a picture of the poster with the Plus It! cover against the background of the book shelves. That would be a great pix to post on this blog.
I walked into the store and looked around. No posters anywhere. Okay. I’ll let go of that image in my head, I thought, and I’ll just speak with her.
You probably guessed what happened: “Naomi is no longer with us,” another manager told me. “We’re very understaffed.”
Still, they’re honoring their commitment. No, there wouldn’t be publicity (“Our printed calendars for July still haven’t arrived at the store, though they’re a week late”).
But they will have a table set up for me near the children’s books section. I won’t need to give a presentation, which is a relief, but there will be a place for me to sit and a stack of my books.
The new manager—a woman who’s most likely had customer relations added to her already heavy workload—suggested gently that I be sure to circulate and engage people in conversation.
Some authors, she said, just sit behind the table and expect people to come to them. That doesn’t work to sell books.
“And what we want is to sell your book!” she said.
That’s what I want, too.
So my intention next Saturday at 1:30pm at The Shoppes in Chino HIlls, CA, is to move beyond shyness with grace, enthusiasm, and tact. I’ll do my best to engage people as they flow among the bookshelves.
Take a deep breath. What an opportunity for personal growth and for letting go of expectations this is. It’s good for me. Cheers!
Book Business Is Booming!
By · CommentsWell, that may be a bit of exaggeration. However, Plus It! received wonderful publicity this week.
The book is featured in the LA Parent magazine’s Education Directory for July 2009. The editors reprinted much of the first chapter in a two-page spread, and put a small picture of the book in the corner. I’m thrilled!
In addition, this week my publisher, David Hancock of Morgan James Publishing, pointed out that Plus It! is a bestseller in the grandparenting category on Amazon!
What that means is that the book is in the top 100 books in that category. On Tuesday, when David told me that, Plus It! was #81. Last night I checked, and it was #24.
My revised goal is to sell 5000 books by Sept. 13, 2009. LA Parent may help us meet that target.
“Keep Your Eyes on the Ball, Grandma”
By · CommentsA four-year-old boy and a grandmother can play some mighty fine softball, I can testify. (I’m the GM.)
Yesterday I had several hours with Calvin (not his real name) on my own. We started off reading a couple books together; then he leapt off the couch and jumped around on the tile of the living room floor, gazing at me. It was clear some physical activity would be appreciated. “Let’s go out to the back yard,” I say.
There’s a narrow cement strip between the garage and the lemon trees. That will have to do as our diamond. Calvin picks up the blue plastic bat lying nearby and gently kicks a small blue ball toward me. I’m to pitch for the first round; he’ll bat.
To watch him as batter is a treat. He does a brief leg-crossing kick-jump routine first as he get the bat up to his shoulder. Then he takes one hand and brushes his ears and shakes his head, as if there were gnats about. (There aren’t. I think he has an allergy and there’s itching inside his ears.) Then he curls his tongue in that little U shape that it seems only people with certain genes can do.
“You ready?” I ask.
“Yep.” He leans forward.
I pitch. He hits the ball. I pitch again. He hits again. Ten out of ten. I’m impressed.
“Okay, now it’s my turn to bat,” I say. (Fair’s fair, and besides, he needs to learn to pitch, too.)
I take up the plastic bat. From previous experience, I know it has a split in it somewhere, and it makes a great crack! sound—like it’s surely a home-run—when you connect with full force, though the ball travels hardly 10 yards. I want to make that kind of connection.
Calvin pitches. I swing and miss. He pitches. I foul the ball. He pitches again. I miss. Hmm. I used to be a pretty good softball player. Well, next time, I’ll surely connect and get that impressive crack! I say to myself. He pitches. I miss. How did that happen?
“Grandma,” he advises with authority, “you got to keep your eyes on the ball.”
Hmm…
Create a Literacy Rich Home–1
By · Comments(5/19/09 Note: This is a first draft of what I hope will be a longer article.)
In a literacy-rich household, both WORDS and the big WORLD itself are enjoyed by everyone.
Grown-ups and kids in a literacy-rich home know that life is about learning, thinking, sharing, and expanding their skills and interests. For the truth is, literacy is about books AND a whole lot more.
Here are five things to emphasize if you want to create that kind of home-life:
1) Talking and listening
2) Reading and watching
3) Writing and drawing
4) Creating and investigating
5) Enjoying and appreciating
This blog entry is about #1.
TALKING and LISTENING—Here’s my best advice:
Talk to kids from birth on. Chatter up a storm. (For example, even with a tiny baby, you can endlessly say things like, “You are a beautiful and healthy baby. I’m really enjoying watching you grow, and change, and learn!”)
Talk about processes, the order in which to do something, and how things work. (For example, for an infant, you can say, “Your body is working just the way it is supposed to. We take food in—you drink your bottle—and then our bodies take what they need to help us grow—and what’s not needed is pushed out as poop! Good work, body!”)
Name the feelings. When an emotion comes up, say the word for it. (Again, even with a very young child, try, “You sound like you’re angry that something’s hurting inside. I’m going to see what I can do to help you feel more comfortable.”)
Share your observations, even of the little things. (For example, “I just noticed what beautiful colors that rose has. It’s got bright yellow, then gold, and a little bit of white.”)
Use big words (and provide simple explanations if you get a “Huh?”).
Express positive attitudes, like these: We can learn from every experience, especially mistakes. I love you regardless. Let’s say what we’re grateful for. Let’s use our time wisely. Let’s plan ahead. It’s important to take good care of yourself.
Answer questions. They mean your child is learning to learn. What a great thing to support, even if it takes a little extra time. If you don’t know an answer, that’s fine. See if you and the child together can get an answer.
Play with words and sounds. Make up rhymes and raps. Say tongue twisters.
Tell stories. About your childhood. About your day. Great stories from books. About animals.
Listen with interest: (“I want to hear what you have to say.” “Tell me more…”)
Listen with questions: (“Why do you think…” is a good one to ask.)
Listen with follow-up: (“I was thinking about what you said yesterday…”)
Listen and check if you understood: (“What I heard you say was… Is that what you meant?”
Listen with an open heart: (Sometimes kids don’t need an answer, they just want to state what’s true for them. You don’t have to agree or advise. Just listen.)
Dear reader, what other advice would you add to this list?
Submit Your Stories
By · CommentsYou’re welcome to write comments and stories about PLUS IT! ideas here.
Why Mary Poppins Left
By · CommentsOver the weekend I sat on the couch with Rose (age 7) and Calvin (age 4), watching them watch Mary Poppins for the first time. They knew the songs, of course, from “Dad’s computer” and sang along loudly with Mary and Burt.
But Mary Poppins is set in 1910 in imperial England. How does one explain (in the course of fast-moving scenes and continual puzzled why’s… from Rose), Mrs. Banks women’s rights sash across her bosom and her glee in leaving the children in the care of a nanny in order to “cast off the shackles of yesterday.”
Then there’s the issue of the cadre of uniformed servants in the household. What are they doing, and why is there so much glass in that house? And why was Mr. Banks was so “grumpy” all the time. What’s a chimney sweep? Why don’t we have a fireplace?
Calvin doesn’t like loud noises that he can’t control. Why is that guy always setting off the booming cannon? (Why, indeed?) Because he’s a little bit crazy.
Why did the man at the bank take Michael’s money? Why did the dad lose his job? (Try explaining a run-on-a-bank to a four-year-old. Try explaining the banking system to begin with—why it’s a good idea to put your money in the bank, and what compound interest is.) Why was the dad laughing after he lost his job? What’s funny about the joke about the man with one leg named Smith?
And after all was said and done, why did Mary Poppins leave Jane and Michael Banks?
“She said she was going to stay until the wind changes,” Rose declares with a bit of a pout.
“What do you think that means?” I ask.
The movie is over. (We’d watched the first half of the movie at night, and the second half on Sunday morning.) It’s time to put on shoes and walk the dog. The kids whizz their scooters while the dog and I tug-of-war over our pace. He does his business dutifully. Then right before we cross the last street back to the house, Rose calls out to me.
“I got it! When the dad lost his job, he got happy again. Mary Poppins meant that she’d stay until things got better. So that’s why she left.”
Mr. Banks did get his job back, you may recall, after he’d learned to enjoy children, wife, imagination, jokes, and song.
Perhaps there’s a message for our economy in there somewhere, you think?
A Great Mother’s Day Gift
By · CommentsHere’s what an enthusiastic Mom wrote about Plus It!, this small new book chock full of tips for parents and easy, no-cost educational activities for kids:
“What a perfect mother’s day gift! I will be giving this to all the ‘mothers’ associated with each of my children: grandmas, godmothers, daycare providers, play-date moms…. I have to admit, I have selfish motives in so doing. I want everyone to help my children maintain their natural-born curiosity and passion for learning. In so doing, my role as mother will be so very much easier in the days and years to come.”
I loved receiving this email! Plus It! How to Easily Turn Everyday Activities into Learning Adventures for Kids was officially released yesterday, May 1, 2009. Yeah! That means bookstores are now permitted to sell it.
As author and primary marketer, I’m almost beside myself with joy, for Lynn D, who wrote what I quoted above, ordered ten copies from Amazon to give out as gifts.
And she sent out an email announcing the book to 26 friends!
That means all those parents/ caregivers and kids might soon be talking and interacting more with one another, and perhaps in fresh, meaningful, fun, new ways.
Whoopee! The mission of Plus It!—to support literacy, learning, and loving in families worldwide—is being served!
Goals for this Parenting Book: The Business of Selling
By · CommentsThe sales of this little book full of tips for parents, Plus It! How to Easily Turn Everyday Activities into Learning Adventures for Kids, are taking off! It will be released on May 1.
Yesterday one person emailed me and bought eight copies because she’s interested in family life and family literacy. A friend from high school days who now lives in Panama (!) said she ordered three copies from Amazon. The first independent bookstore owner I’ve approached is interested in carrying the book. Two days ago, I did my first radio interview—with a distinguished media psychiatrist, Dr. Carole Lieberman <www.drcarole.com> who is very involved in the movement to limit violent media and video games. And of course, she supports families in doing creative, educational activities for kids.
My business goals for Plus It! are below.
As an aside, I have other goals which compel me more, but meeting them really depends on manifesting the business goals. For example, I have impact goals that center on how I’d like to contribute to improving education: My mission, which should keep me busy for rest of my life, is promoting literacy, learning, and loving in families worldwide. And I have personal goals that arise from deciding to be an info-preneur. For example, I’d like to let go of fears about sales and promotion, become more unconditionally loving of myself and others, and live in even more joy, fun, ease, grace, abundance, and adventure.
But my business goals are delineated here to help me stay on course. Of course, I reserve the right to add, subtract, and refine these as I go along. Adjustment is part of the process.
Business goals:
1. Break even first via sales by 12/31/2009. I figure I need to sell between 7,000 and 10,000 books to break even, depending on how much of the sale price of a book I actually get. (I don’t know that for sure yet.) The reality is that Amazon, Morgan James Publishing, and Ingram Publisher Services (IPS), the distributor, take the biggest chunks of revenue by far. I’m contributing to creating employment in all those companies, I figure.
2. Easily maintain a fun, engaging, professional website—www.plusitbook.com—that at least 500 people/week visit to download the free bonus and order more books by 12/31/2009.
3. Develop a community of Plus It readers and users who comment and share how they use Plus It ideas with kids 12/31/2009.
4. Sky-rocket to 100,000 in sales, through single sales and through bulk sales to organizations that support parenting, family services, family literacy, and schools by 9/30/2010.
5. Develop the next book in the series easily and in partnership with others by 9/30/2010.
6. Then move into the millions-of-books-sold club by mid 2011!
And why not! For this is an auspicious day: it’s Shakespeare’s birthday.
Marketing a New Parenting Book—Yes!
By · CommentsMy new parenting book, Plus It! How to Easily Turn Everyday Activities into Learning Adventures for Kids, is my new golden opportunity as an educator and info-preneur. It’s just released and available on Amazon. (You can search for it using the whole title as I wasn’t able to put the link here for some reason.).
Marketing this book of tips for parents—getting it out into the world and into the hands of those who can use and enjoy it—is going to be a major learning adventure for me. Yes!
I declare I welcome it all: small successes, getting to know new people, writing ad copy, disappointments, large successes, losing money, making money, creating sequels, fearing I’ll be seen as too self-promoting, wandering around the house trying to figure out the next priority thing to do, planning and presenting of workshops, being on the radio…all of it!
Yesterday, at my first attendance at a writers’ group in a local bookstore, I was asked to pass around my new book. It got stalled on one woman’s lap. Then I saw her slip a notebook out of her bag. She started writing intently, copying down something from Plus It! Yes! In just flipping through this parenting book, she found something of value, a tip to use with children. Yes!
That’s just how I want the book to be used—as a source of ideas and inspiration. And maybe she’ll also buy it!
(Coming next: Goals for Plus It!)
Walking and Wondering…
By · CommentsYesterday walking home from a park with two scooter-riding kids, age 7 and 4, I used a Plus It! idea.
At a street corner, I said, “Let’s guess how many cement squares there are in the sidewalk between the beginning and end of this next block.”
I started the guessing and said 25 cement squares. Rose, age 7 and a first grader, said 31. Calvin, age 4, said 100. We started to count loudly.
In just a few squares, Rose declared, “I’m no good at estimating,” and changed her guess to 21, which was closer to what mine was.
“Don’t say that,” I said, impressed that she knew the word for the activity but a bit alarmed at her self-doubt.
Immediately she explained that in school she had guessed there were 60 somethings when the correct answer had been 100. And she repeated her conclusion that she wasn’t good at estimating, though she was clearly enjoying this activity.
I thought, Gee, how quickly children draw conclusions about what they can or can’t do well. My admonition to her not to say ‘I’m no good at…’ to herself was ignored.
I wondered what I could do or say that would open up the possibility that she could reconsider her conclusion. Hmm….
For it turned out that there were 49 cement squares in that block. Rose would have won the ‘contest’ if she’d stayed with her first answer.
